Well I heard that you're leavin'
Gonna leave me far behind
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind

So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you

That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feelin' down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door

Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin'

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms
In Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled
With double edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage
With my bare hands and then throw it on the floor
And stomp on it 'till I die

Than spend one more minute with you